I don’t like blogging.
I know, I know… Who blogs about not liking blogging? I do, apparently.
I started this blog to force myself to write creatively. I did that for a while, and it made me hate writing. I held myself to higher standards when writing something to the entire Internet, and that killed my writing ambition. That’s when I started using this blog to sort of “instruct” others on writing — giving tips and the like.
That sort of worked for a while, but the problem was I hardly had the experience or skill to be giving such advice to others. I was again holding myself to higher standards than I could feasibly reach. In addition, most anything I thought of sharing had already been shared by dozens of other people far better than I could convey myself. I soon gave up with that as well.
I tried making my blog about storytelling, because I love relaying stories of random events. That failed as well, because telling stories is far different from writing them. And these aren’t even fictional stories. I would end up halfway through a post and lose interest in it, or not even start. The ones I did finish, I was rarely happy with.
Who cares about the goings on of my daily life? My friends and family of course, but I talk to them in person. I’m not going to kindly refer them to my blog when they ask how I’m doing. Nor does the entirety of the Internet need to know about that bizarre situation I was in three days ago. This is a blog, not a LiveJournal.
Then I joined the Blogenning. Three posts a week. I can do that. Even now I still have topics in my head I could spill a few hundred words on. But the point is: these aren’t interesting. I don’t even find them interesting and I wrote them. Who cares about my dream pet? My social life? The videogames I play?
I don’t like blogging. I don’t like scouring my brain for conversation topics, especially when I’m the only one talking. It’s only been two weeks and the Blogenning is already feeling like a chore for me. Maybe I’m not creative enough, or social enough, or witty enough, or interesting enough to enjoy blogging.
On top of that, I feel guilty for not keeping up with the blogs of WordPress people as well as Blogenning members. Ye gods there’s a lot of them! I’m sorry, but I have work to do at work, and drawings to finish at home. I have games to play, levels to gain. I have people to socialize with, an apartment to clean, food to cook, trains to catch.
That’s not to say your thoughts and words don’t interest me. It means I don’t have time to read 33 posts a week from Blogenning members alone.
That’s why I’m going to be a quitter, and drop out of the Blogenning after two weeks. That’s why this blog is probably going to die.